Friday, November 14, 2014

Mom, if I disappear, where will I go?


Mom, if I disappear, where will I go?

I don't know, son.
I only know that if you disappear, I would look for you everywhere on earth and below the earth.
I would knock on every door of every house.
Asking every single person who I find along my way.
I would insist, every single day, at every moment, that I was obligated to look for you until I found you.
And I would want you not to be afraid, because I am looking for you.
And if they didn't listen to me, my son,
My voice would grow stronger and I would shout your name in the streets.
I would break glass and tear down doors to search for you.
I would burn buildings so everyone would know how much I love you and how much I want you back.
I would paint walls with your name and I wouldn't let anyone forget you.
I would look for others who are also searching for their children, so that together we could find you and them.
And my son, I would want you not to be afraid, because we would be looking for you.
If you didn't disappear, my son--oh, I want that you not!--I would shout the names of those who have disappeared.
I would write their names on walls.
I would hug, even from a distance, all of the mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers who are searching for their disappeared.
I would walk arm in arm with them in the streets.
I would not allow their names to be forgotten.
I would want, my son, for none of them to be afraid--because we would be looking for them.
--Marcela Ibarra Mateos (ixca cienfuegos)

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Mamá, si desaparezco, ¿adónde voy?

No lo sé, hijo.
Solo sé que si desaparecieras te buscaría entre la tierra y debajo de ella.
Tocaría en cada puerta de cada casa.
Preguntaría a todas y a cada una de las personas que encontrara en mi camino.
Exigiría, todos y cada uno de los días, a cada instancia obligada a buscarte que lo hiciera hasta encontrarte.
Y querría, hijo, que no tuvieras miedo, porque te estoy buscando.
Y si no me escucharan, hijo;
la voz se me haría fuerte y gritaría tu nombre por las calles.
Rompería vidrios y tiraría puertas para buscarte.
Incendiaría edificios para que todos supieran cuánto te quiero y cuánto quiero que regreses.
Pintaría muros con tu nombre y no querría que nadie te olvidara.
Buscaría a otros y a otras que también buscan a sus hijos para que juntos te encontráramos a ti y a ellos.
Y querría, hijo, que no tuvieras miedo, porque muchos te buscamos.
Si no desaparecieras, hijo, como así deseo y quiero.
Gritaría los nombres de todos aquellos que sí han desaparecido.
Escribiría sus nombres en los muros.
Abrazaría en la distancia y en la cercanía a todos aquellos padres y madres; hermanas y hermanos que buscan a sus desaparecidos.
Caminaría del brazo de ellos por las calles.
Y no permitiría que sus nombres fueran olvidados.
Y querría, hijo, que todos ellos no tuvieran miedo, porque todos los buscamos.

Marcela Ibarra Mateos (ixca cienfuegos)

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The construction of the house finished in April 2011 and I'm pretty much settled in. As of March 2014 I'm in preparation for rain mode for this coming summer. That includes sealing and painting things and dealing with drainage issues from last year.

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